Day 32

I think I put my leg on crooked today. No, I’m not kidding. It happens every now and then and I only notice it if I take a long walk. Like my daily walk. My skin becomes irritated and it’s quite uncomfortable.

I took most of the day off of work so I could go to lunch with my sister, who was in town today. Murphy’s law was in effect and both of my kids stayed home sick. My son is old enough to take care of his sister, but I still don’t like leaving them alone when they’re sick. Which I did. Three times. The first was for an hour meeting at work. I came home, snuggled on the couch and watched a movie with them. Then I left to see my sister for a two hour lunch. When I returned we played a roaring game of Monopoly. Then I went on my walk.

When I started my walk I noticed the tell tale signs of ‘crooked leg’ by the nagging irritation on my skin where my prosthetic leg meets my skin, just under my bum. It was quite uncomfortable at the beginning of my walk. “I’ll just walk a few blocks,” I told myself and then immediately questioned that decision. Am I being kind to myself and protecting my skin or am I finding an excuse to go back home to the kids? Truth be told it was an excuse.

I kept walking and realized how hard it is to take time away from my kids for just me. I didn’t feel so guilty going to work and having lunch with my sister. Those are both rationalized easily. Of course I have to go to work. It’s my job. Of course I would see my sister. She’s not in Bellingham very often. But leave for a half an hour walk just for me? That’s much harder for me to rationalize.

A half hour was a long enough time to find a few good rationalizations. What did I tell my kids, indirectly, by taking my thirty first walk today? I told them that I cherish my body. I value exercise. I am committed. I want to be strong. I work for what I want. I am persistent. I see the value of working toward a goal.

And, funny thing, by the time I turned around to walk back home, my skin didn’t hurt nearly as much.

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