A warm rain-free walk tonight. I did my same route and feel comfortable with the familiarity of it. I can almost predict when I’ll need to stop for relief.
Someone reminded me: “Dare not to compare” when I walk. A tall order. And it’s the first thing I do. I know people who run marathons, for pity’s sake. And I’m trying to walk a mile.
But ultimately I know, deep down, that comparing myself to others takes me away from myself. When I judge myself against someone else’s standards, abilities, or values, I don’t own my own. I know I limit myself further by allowing others to be my barometer for success. Besides, it makes me crazy. One minute I compare myself to this person, the next minute to that person. It’s much easier and saner to just be myself.
Confucius said that a Journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. Well, these are my steps. My limpy, gimpy, sometimes painful steps. I don’t think I’ll walk a thousand miles, but even my ‘one mile’ starts with one of my steps. No one else can do this for me and no one else can do it the way I can. I need to embrace and accept my steps, no matter what they look like – or how they feel – as good enough for now. They’ll get less painful; they’ll get more fluid. But if I don’t accept how I walk right now, I’ll never improve.
So, from here on out, when I find I’m comparing myself to the able-bodied, beautifully sleek, athletic bodies out there, I’ll instead focus on what I’ve got. One hell of a unique body. And I’ll be grateful I can walk at all.